Monday, November 29, 2010

Writing sentences - the basics

When I look at most of my favorite novels,they are written in third person. I prefer third person narratives, and I am more critical of novels written in first person. SO, I write all my recent novels in third person. It's a little slower to write, but I consider the end results better.

When I write third person, I end up in a trap of saying, "He looked at the car approaching... He got inside. He buckled his seat belt... etc.. etc..." and every once in a while, when I realize that I have "He" at the beginning of every sentence, I put the person's name in instead, "Henry looked at the car approaching. He got inside etc...", or try some other clumsy way of getting away from it, even though, mostly, it's description of the main character doing things, which is a normal part of narrative.

So, I checked my bookshelf for old favorites and found "Seventh Son" by Orson Scott Card and "Hyperion" by Dan Simmon. I checked to see how they start each sentence.

Orson Scott Card:

"Little Peggy was very careful with the eggs. She rooted her hand ... She... After all, ... Even when ... She just... All this while ... Mama said.. Every day ... Every one ... I got to ... Then little Peggy ... I want ... Most animals ..."

Dan Simmons:

"The Hegemony Consul sat on the balcony...A thunderstorm..
Bruise-black clouds.. Lightning rippled ... Closer to ... The Consul ...
The fatline ...The Consul ... Thunder...From ... Somewhere ..."

I consider both Orson Scott Card and Dan Simmons to be masters of style. When they are on (and they are in these novels), it's a beautiful thing. In both of these novels, the sentences have a pattern, a cadence. I don't know if the authors intended them, but it feels like they made a specific revision for beat.

As obvious as it is, I haven't really looked to my favorite novels for style tips, although I've written it down after my last three Nanos with the intent of re-writing one of my novels.

This blog is my push. Writing in public and telling everyone my intent will probably help. It can't hurt. This is the year.


  1. I love looking through good books and delving into what the author's techniques are so that you can experiment and apply it to your work.

  2. Of course you do! You are sensible. I often start, but don't continue. What I should do now, is keep track of things that move me, make me laugh, or I find especially pretty or awe inspiring.

    I have to say, I haven't seen much in my last years's reading list.